We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
