That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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