Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
