He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
