we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
