her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
