Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
