Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
