question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
