If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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