Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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