I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
