Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
