Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
