Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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