NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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