I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
