he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
