Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
