how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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