Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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