you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
