I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
