he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
