After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
