Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
