so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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