Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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