and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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