i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
