Taylor Swift is so right about you.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
