To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
