she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I need moral support for this bender
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
