I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
