I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We have started to decorate penises.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
