and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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