I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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