If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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