Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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