sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
