he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
