i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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