I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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