why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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