I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
