Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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