I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she looked like the before picture.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
