A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
