i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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