Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
