Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
