When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
