haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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