if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
